***SPOILERS FOR DETECTIVE PIKACHU.

Ok, this has very little to do with Pokemon: Detective Pikachu, but we must never forget this all-time great video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLuzbe8QAuY

That will never not be funny.

Anyways, I saw Detective Pikachu last weekend, and it was great to see all the Pokemon

that I grew up watching and playing with (not that way you sick freak) on the big screen. I still have… 30-40(?) of my Pokemon toys that I would conduct tournaments with. I still own my old, old Gameboy Advance with Pokemon Red & Special Pikachu Edition. I watched the first couple of seasons of the show, I watched the movies like Mewtwo Strikes Back and that one with the Unknown… don’t remember what it’s called but whatever.

Bottom line: I really enjoy Pokemon (as long as it’s Gen1), so I was stoked to see this movie. PLUS, we don’t get to see that asshole Ash Ketchum. He is the worst trainer you can find. There are window sills that could be better than Ash Ketchum at training Pokemon… his last name is “Ketchum” and the idiot barely catches Pokemon!? YOU SUCK!

Ok… getting off track. Let’s review the positives & negatives of Detective Pikachu.

SIDE NOTE: I know there’s an accent over the letter ‘e’ in Pokemon, but I haven’t figured out how to get one on my website. SO before you melvins call me out… shush.

Positives

• Ryan freakin’ Reynolds. Captain Deadpool himself. To know one’s shock he was phenomenal voicing Pikachu. He’s got the voice and wit to be a perfect voice actor overall, but it sounded like he relished the role of Pikachu. Everything he said sounds like something Ryan Renolds wrote down for himself. It was natural and hysterically funny. My favorite line:
  “Have you ever talked to a woman before?”-Pika
  “I’ve talked to women before.”-Tim
  “When was that, in the birth canal?”-Pika
  If I closed my eyes I wouldn’t be able to tell if it’s a Deadpool line or a Pikachu line.

• Justice Smith (Tim Goodman) was really good too. I hadn’t heard of him before I saw Pikachu and was really impressed by his performance. He kept the emotional moments in the film afloat and believable. He made you feel for the character of Tim Goodman.
• The mystery surrounding Pikachu’s amnesia and what happened to Tim’s father was really fun to ride along with as an audience member. It felt like you were investigating along with Pika and Tim, and it was an entertaining and enjoyable to watch unfold!
• I’m a sucker for the nostalgic callbacks to Generation 1. Seeing all the Pokemon like Charizard, Bulbasaur, Psyduck, Mewtwo and Jigglypuff were great. They also threw nuggets at us like Snorlax blocking the road (just like from the video games) and the Squirtle Squad fighting fires (just like from the TV show). Loved it!
• The Mr. Mime scene killed me. I gave you my favorite line above but this was my favorite scene hands down. Tim & Pika working good cop/bad cop and Tim accidentally setting Mr. Mime on fire was brilliant.

Negatives

• The series of twists towards the end of the movie got to be too much and diminished any potential shock impact. There were twists about Pikachu betraying Harry Goodman, and then we found out Howard Clifford was actually the villain instead of his son Roger and then we found out that Pikachu was the good guy all along and then we found out Mewtwo was the good guy and then we fount out this villainous chick turns out to be a Ditto and then we found out the main villain’s plan is to combine people and Pokemon and then we found out Pikachu is actually Tim’s father Harry. *takes deep breath and then the dad ends up being Ryan Reynolds showing that beautiful face in the movie. It got to be wayyy too much.
• Lucy was… eh. She’s the aspiring journalist and romantic interest of Tim and she’s just… weird… like too weird. I’m sure that was intentional but she never resonated with me.
• Call me a mindless barbarian but I wanted more Pokemon battles. It felt like they went with a PC route of not harming animals… this is Pokemon though and I want those bastards to beat the hell out of each other… sue me! It was a movie about Detective Pikachu, I get that, but I wanted to see those battles I played out on my Gameboy on the big screen.

Overall Grade: B-

Without the final 25-30 minutes, this movie probably gets a ‘B’ or ‘B+’ but that last bit was too “twisty” as Pikachu would say. BUT, overall it was enjoyable and better than I thought it would be too. I hope this is the first of more live-action Pokemon movies AND now that we’re getting a Sonic The Headhog movie maybe we can get a Super Smash Bros. universe… I don’t know how that would work but I’m all about it!

Directed by Joe & Anthony Russo
Release Date: May 6th, 2016
Starring: Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Elizabeth Olson, Scarlett Johansson, Daniel Bruhl, Don Cheadle, Paul Bettany
Box Office Worldwide: $1,153,304,495

It’s funny to think that Captain America: Civil War was at one point the most anticipated MCU movie prior to its release. Now that we’ve gotten Infinity War & Endgame it’s definitely not the biggest movie in the MCU anymore. That being said, it’s still one of the best.

In an epic collision between friends, the movie follows the Avengers political dispute among each other on whether or not there should be government oversight. How fun would that be? Picture you and your friends beating the shit out of each other at an airport and one of you almost dying!? Incredible fun!

It was also a brilliant plot for marketing. Before the movie came out, Marvel was asking all its fans to pick a side between Captain America and Iron Man. For what it’s worth, I picked Team Iron Man. He’s my favorite character and I thought it was pretty screwed up that Cap & Bucky Barnes beat the shit out of Tony Stark after he discovered Bucky killed his parents… what the hell is that, Cap!? Plus, Cap is a 100 year old virgin so do you really want to side with him? Didn’t think so.

(Full disclosure I love Cap and the virgin joke probably doesn’t work anymore after Endgame.)

Anyhoozle, let’s review Captain America: Civil War

Positives

• The story of this movie feels like it’s rooted in the real world (our real life world, not the TV show). If our actual Earth had superheroes it feels like governments interfering with The Avengers would be a current event. With all the previous attacks and battles (New York, Sokovia, D.C., etc.) it makes sense that governments of the world would say “hey, guys. Thanks for all of your help but since you guys showed up, we’ve kinda had a lot of people dying.” Especially after after an entire fricken country was dropped from the sky in Age of Ultron. It’s a sensational story and display of storytelling that breaks up Earth’s Mightiest Heroes into two teams thus creating MAJOR implications for the next handful of years in the MCU.
• The plot of the movie is wonderful, too. The first scene of the movie is the Winter Soldier derailing a car and extracting something from the trunk. Later we get a flashback to that scene when Bucky reveals it was a serum to create a squad of Winter Soldiers. Then at the end of the film we get another flashback to it to see that the two people Bucky killed to retrieve the serum were Tony’s parents. The flashbacks to that scene are placed beautifully in the movie. They keep the movie flowing and creating new story angles to keep the film fresh.
• We see great character arcs out of Captain America and Iron Man. This is the finale of Cap’s arc. He started his run in The First Avenger as an obedient soldier to authority, and he ends the arc here by flipping the government off and doing what’s good for the sake of good and not for the pigs. It’s awesome to see his rogue transformation over the trilogy.
• Iron Man’s mental health continues to deteriorate from Iron Man 3. We see him have PTSD in IM3 from the events of The Avengers, then we see Tony’s vision of everyone dying in Age of Ultron and now we see Tony having to live with the guilt of creating a mess of Sokovia. Tony is one of the best characters in the MCU because he has these emotional issues that make him feel like a regular joe… with a shit ton of money. He has so much personal guild (and he should) from those that lost their lives in Sokovia, that he’s willing to change everything so the Avengers don’t harm anyone else while kicking ass in their battles.  
• The overall impact of this movie is a positive on its own. We hadn’t really seen a superhero movie, at least I can’t think of one, that combines all these different heroes and have them square off against each other. It was a monumental flick at the time of its release… and it still is unique! Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice tried to do a similar setup… didn’t do it as well.
• It’s significant for character introductions. We get Black Panther… and Spider-Man. Black Panther’s intro was great but I can’t compare it to Spidey. Spidey appears when Iron Man is putting together his team. Black Widow says she’ll get T’Challa and asks Tony where his guy is. Tony smirks, camera cuts to New York and “QUEENS” flashes on the screen to the sound of Alt-J’s “Left Hand Free.” And it. Is. Awesome. Everyone in the theater knew right away that we’re getting Spidey. And Tom Holland is wonderful in the little screen time he gets as both Peter Parker & Spider-Man. I’ll be talking about that a lot more for my Spider-Man Homecoming review.

• The action scenes are amazing. It might be the best MCU movie in terms of action. The opening battle in Lagos, Cap, Bucky & T’Challa’s chase through the city, the airport fight and Iron Man V Cap & Bucky. They’re all so intense and fun. My favorite battle is the last one we get with Iron Man V Cap & Bucky. You can feel the emotion pouring out in that final battle between Tony, Cap & Bucky on so many different levels. When Cap is trying to settle Tony down and tells him Bucky didn’t have control when he killed his parents… Iron Man responds with “I don’t care. He killed my mom.” Damn. That’s heavy. And it concludes with Cap sticking the shield into the Tony’s arc reactor after Tony rips off Bucky’s arm with this chest repulsor… oh my god it’s all so freaking good.

• Helmut Zemo is a solid villain. His plan is the most unique from a villain in the MCU. It’s a nice change of plans from typical evil-doers like Ultron, Yellowjacket and Ronan the Accuser. Those three villains want to do bad to the world, but Zemo just wants to breakup the Avengers who demolished his home.
• Love the call back to The Incredible Hulk with General Thunderbolt Ross being Secretary of State now. I know Hulk isn’t one of the better MCU movies but it’s still an MCU movie damnit!
• Great Stan Lee cameo as a Fedex driver calling Tony “Tony Stank.”

• Very cool to see the Raft, too. (The Raft is the underwater prison).

Negatives

• Now that Cap went to live a life with Peggy after Endgame, it creeps me out that he kissed Sharon Carter (Peggy’s niece). Like, it’s not terribly weird but his interest in Sharon was never touched on again, so it was kind of useless in my opinion.
• Zemo’s plan is complex. It’s cool on one hand but on the other I think it’s overly complex at times. The plan needs to be timed out to a T or else it probably doesn’t work. I’m not going to say that it’s impossible and it makes his plan dumb, but I think sometimes less is more.
• The scene when Zemo is getting the red book to brainwash Bucky again. He infiltrates an old Hydra agent’s house and hangs the agent upside down over a sink to figure out where the book is. So Zimo starts filling the sink with water to drown him and the water starts overflowing before it covers his mouth and nose lol. I really don’t count things like this against movies but I do find it funny.
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiYNUVrntkY (Fast forward to 3:07 and you’ll see what I’m saying).

Overall Grade: A

This was an uber tough decision. I thought it was always an “A” grade, but this time around it felt closer to an A+. But I couldn’t put the perfect score on it. I don’t even know if I can explain why I give it an A. I looked at Guardians, Avengers, Endgame and a couple other MCU movies I haven’t ranked yet, and I think Civil War just misses the cut. Again, I don’t even have an explanation for you.

MCU Ranking

1. Guardians of the Galaxy
2. Avengers: Endgame
3. The Avengers
4. Captain America: Civil War (Again, it’s so close to an A+)
5. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
6. Iron Man
7. Captain America: The First Avenger
8. Ant-Man
9. Avengers: Age of Ultron
10. Thor
11. Iron Man 3
12. Iron Man 2
13. The Incredible Hulk
14. Thor: The Dark World

Next up: Doctor Strange

So far, I’ve only made it to Ant-Man in my Road to Endgame reviews, but I can’t take the wait anymore. We’re skipping forward to Avengers: Endgame.

I’ll be doubling back and doing the movies I missed to complete the saga but let’s tackle Endgame.

Directed by Joe & Anthony Russo
Release date: April 26, 2019
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johanson, Jeremy Renner, Mark Ruffalo, Karen Gillan, Don Cheadle

Avengers: Endgame: I don’t know where to begin. This movie was everything I had wanted and so much more. Endgame was a perfect film to wrap up the 22 movie Infinity Saga. It made me laugh, cry, reminisce on some of my favorite moments in film history and use my brain more than I ever have while sitting in a movie theater.

Think of the difficulty it took to pull this movie off. The Russo brothers were tasked with capping off the first 21 movies and wrapping up numerous character arcs, and they had to cram it into three hours. It doesn’t even feel like a three hour movie!

I’ve watched it twice now, and I loved it as much the second time as I did the first time. Maybe even more! I’m not really sure how to go about this review because I haven’t picked up negatives, and there is so much to break down… so this review could turn into one long-ass, emotionally driven spiel.

Let’s try and break down Endgame into certain elements.

Emotion

Like I said above, Endgame capped off 21 movies (pretty much 21 of my favorite movies of all time), and it was going to be an emotional movie for me no matter what. These movies have meant so much to a dude who grew up with comics, cartoons and other Marvel films. It’s been a dream come true to see all these movies play out and intertwine in the same cinematic universe. Hell, these movies

have even been used as escapes from real-life issues! So I wanted to hit the big emotional moments.

• I mean… holy shit, dudes. Two colossally important figures in the MCU died. First, Iron Man’s death… holy shit, dudes. I was already emotional from seeing everyone that got dusted arrive through the portals, and then Iron Man blows my mind up with “And I. Am. Iron Man.” It’s the best line Tony Stark could’ve said before sacrificing himself for the entire world. Already crying at this point, Marvel decided to slap me harder in the face and have Stark’s crew send him off. Pepper telling Tony he can rest now, Spider-Man seeing his mentor die and Rhodey watching his best friend die… is so heavy. I have never full blown cried during a movie, but I was SOBBING in the theater… I was actually kind of embarrassed lol. They didn’t stop there. The Russo Brothers poured it on by showing us his funeral. First thing we see is Iron Man’s original arc reactor being floated out into the lake with everyone looking on. Pretty much every hero that’s alive is there to commemorate the godfather who started it all. Rip my heart into a million pieces why don’t you?

• And then there was Black Widow’s death. Again, I was crying… not as badly as Iron Man’s but still crying. Romanoff might have taken the dusting as badly as anyone. You could see and feel the pain in her face when she’s sitting at Avengers Compound eating that peanut butter sandwich telling Rhodey she wants Hawkeye back… it hurts so bad to see. As sad as her death was it was nice to see poetry to see Nat sacrifice everything to get the universe back to its usual self. And poor Hawkeye has to watch… SHEEEEESHHHH
• Speaking of Hawkeye, it was perfect to kick the movie off with the repercussions of the snap. Hawkeye’s kids and wife disappearing are haunting. Especially when you can see a little of dust drifting away where Lila Barton was standing. Also, the movie does a great job to set that depressed mood. We see New York City and San Francisco dead. And then all those monuments that were honoring the disappeared in San Francisco… it makes the entire first sequence feel so eerie and hopeless.
• Somehow with all of those big time emotional moments, the movie still balances it out with some great comedy. THEY MADE THOR FAT! Do you know how much guts you need to do to pull that off? A LOT! Thor was the hottest character both in terms of looks and momentum.  Sure it was funny, but they also made it ultra depressing to see someone going through such guilt. They made Hemsworth feel like he’s imperfect like the rest of us! Thor Lebowski was phenomenal as was Dr. Hulk. They finally combined Banner & Hulk to make Dr. Hulk and it killed. It really felt like Banner & Hulk’s personalities combined into one strange personality, and I loved the hell out of it.

• Oh, I forgot about Ant-Man’s reunion with his daughter. There was another tear-jerker! Paul Rudd is known for being a big goofball but damnit he can flip that switch in a hurry. When he tells Cassie “you’re so big,” it was the exact thing I pictured Scott Lang saying in that situation. It was a goofy thing to say, but it had an emotional impact too because it was coming from Scott Lang! 10/10
• ANDD then there was the whole “I love you 3,000” bit between Morgan Stark & Tony Stark. What the hell… this was too cute. Morgan is so cute it hurts. ANDDD then at the end when she tells Happy Hogan that she wants cheeseburgers… it was another great callback to when Tony was eating burgers in the first Iron Man. Why don’t you just stab me in my chest next time?

Ok, I can’t keep talking about the emotional parts. I’m dead. So let’s talk about the last battle… which is one big sploosh moment.

Final Battle

• The last 30-45 minutes is one big “holy shit is this really happening” moment? But let’s address the big moment first: the portals. Oh. My. God. When those portals started appearing behind Cap and we hear Falcon go “on your left” the theater turned into a football game. People are cheering and clapping and saying “LET’S GO!” It felt like a comic book page had been ripped out of its book and slapped onto the big screen. Spidey, Black Panther, Strange, The Guardians, Asgardians, Korg, Ravagers, Wasp… THEY HAD DAMN NEAR EVERYONE. EVEN HOWARD THE DUCK MADE A CAMEO. And they’re all ready for battle and then…
• The Avengers theme starts to ramp up (and BTW, the score in this film is awesome) showing every hero priming for battle and then… the big spot hits. Cap yells “Avengers,” *catches Mjolnir*…… “assemble.” WHAAATNICENOADIF AD DFH OACDODKFASDFGMDFNASDF. HE FINALLY SAID IT!!!! WE’VE BEEN WAITING SEVEN YEARS AND HE FINALLY SAID IT. THEE BIGGEST CATCHPHRASE IN MARVEL AND CAP DROPS IT AHEAD OF THE BIGGEST BATTLE EVER. Everyone starts charging Thanos’ battle, we have the biggest fight I’ve ever seen and I needed to change my pants. Ooooooweeeeee!

• Ok, let’s take a deep breath… let’s go back to when Thanos arrives from 2014 through the quantum tunnel. The entire prelude to the final battle is beyond tense. Hulk snaps everyone back to life, Thanos blows Avengers Compound off the face of the map and then we get the Trinity squaring off with Thanos.
• We get the Trinity (Iron Man, Thor, Captain America) looking down on the baddest villain in the MCU Thanos, and then we get some of my favorite lines:

Thor : You know it’s a trap, right?

Tony Stark : Yeah… but I don’t much care.

Thor : Good. Just as long as we’re all in agreement.

[his eyes light up slowly, crack of thunder, Thor suits up with Mjolnir and Stormbreaker]

Thor : Let’s kill him properly this time.

• Then we get the Trinity battling Thanos and, once again, it. Kicks. Ass. It’s of course highlighted by Cap wielding Mjolnir. It was teased in Avengers: Age of Ultron when he budged the hammer but didn’t pick it up. My theory is that he wasn’t worthy in Ultron because he was lying to Tony about knowing what happened to his parents. I think he’s worthy now because he finally told Tony the truth that Bucky killed him, and now he’s worthy. Now, we get Cap catching the hammer, spinning it and UPPER CUTTING THE SHIT OUT THANOS. It was probably the biggest geek-out moment I’ve ever had watching a movie.
• Lastly, let’s cap off the final battle with Captain Marvel bursting onto the scene and wrecking Sanctuary II (Thanos’ warship). It was a perfect arrival because I forgot completely about Cpt. Marvel because I was swept up in the billion other things happening during the film. She arrives, kicks ass and then we get the all-women team up shot which was fantastic.

Ok, so I wanted to cover the strongest emotions and geek out moments as the two big aspects from Endgame, so now here are my remaining thoughts on Endgame.

• Time travel is complicated, and I’m kind of sure I can explain how it works in Endgame. Basically, you can’t change the future by going to your past because your past becomes your future of your present day self. Got it? Great. If anything, by travelling back in time you can create alternate timelines. I don’t pick it apart too much because it’s time travel and it’s complex. The movie itself even picks fun at time travel when they call out movies like Back to the Future. The only thing I haven’t figured out is how Steve Rogers is an old man in the main timeline. Did he create an alternate timeline and loop back into the main timeline or did he live out his life in the main timeline? Either way, it’s great.
• It was pretty crazy that Thanos was beheaded within 20 minutes of the movie. Crazy awesome. I did not see that one coming!
• Iron Man & Cap. America’s reunion happened so quick that I think people lost sight of it (though we shouldn’t). Tony wants nothing to do with Cap and calls him “liar,” and then collapses. I loved it. It isn’t flashy and it shouldn’t have been because they have a lot worse to deal with (Thanos). It wouldn’t make sense for them to have another heated argument or get too hung up on it. Even the reunion isn’t all that flashy. Tony says “resentment is corrosive and I hate it,” Cap agrees, and Tony gives the America’s shield back to America’s Ass. Simple but great.
• Usually, I’m not a huge fan of a bunch of nostalgic callbacks but they worked so well in this movie. The Ancient One from Dr. Strange, Alexander Pierce and the Strike Team from Winter Soldier, the Battle of New York, Thor’s mom Frigga and even… Jane Foster. Yeah, I didn’t even mind Jane Foster’s call back, and you can see how much I didn’t like Jane in Thor: The Dark World.

Ok, now here’s my last section of just a bunch of random things I loved.

• Captain Marvel’s hair. It’s right out of the comics and it’s AWESOME.
• “Hi, I’m Peter Parker.” – Peter Parker. “Hi, Peter Parker. Ya got something for me?”- Captain Marvel.
• Thor, Miek & Korg playing Fornite against Noobmaster69.
• Cap saying “Hail Hydra.”
• Captain America VS Captain America
• Stan Lee’s hippie cameo saying with the “Nuff said” license plate.
• The original Ant-Man helmet appearing.
• Nebula’s growth and putting down her 2014, abused self. Powerful statement!
• Ant-Man clocking a Leviathan (those flying ships/creatures).

Overall Grade: A+

• If you couldn’t tell, there was no way this movie gets anything less than an A+. It’s the best movie I could have asked for to close out the Infinity Saga. It’s a journey and a half that’s jam packed with character moments, callbacks, epic comic book-like scenes and so much more. Marvel Studios nailed it and a big thanks to The Russo Brothers and Kevin Feige for absolutely killing it.

MCU Ranking

1. Guardians of the Galaxy
2. Avengers: Endgame (This is a quick ranking… I typically don’t try to rank movies right away at the date of release. It’s phenomenal, but I still like a simpler movie like GOTG more… I think. Bottom line, it’s phenomenal and don’t get hung up on it not being my favorite movie.)
3. The Avengers
4. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
5. Iron Man
6. Captain America: The First Avenger
7. Ant-Man
8. Avengers: Age of Ultron
9. Thor
10. Iron Man 3
11. Iron Man 2
12. The Incredible Hulk
13. Thor: The Dark World

Next up: Captain America: Civil War

Directed by Peyton Reed
Release date: July 17, 2015
Starring: Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Michael Douglas, Corey Stoll
Box office worldwide: $519,311,965

Ya just had the epic film Avengers: Age of Ultron, so where do you go from there? What movie could possibly follow all of the Avengers teaming up to stop a superbot from dropping a country on Earth?

Screw it, let’s get that Paul Rudd guy ripped and make him a superhero that shrinks… because we’re Marvel, and you will watch anything we make (I assume that’s how Kevin Feige said it).

Ant-Man has grown on me the more I watch the movie. I always liked it (as I do with all 22 movies), but it’s been towards the bottom of my list for a while. The last 2-3 times I’ve watched it my approval of the movie has gone way up!

Outside of Guardians of the Galaxy, and maybe the 2nd GOTG, Ant-Man is the funniest film in the MCU. There are very few jokes that don’t land with me. Scott Lang’s criminal crew has some great rapport and always has me laughing with their dumb antics.

Also, isn’t it crazy the MCU has gotten actors like Michael Douglas, Anthony Hopkins, Robert Redford and Michelle Pfeiffer? Those are top of the line, award-winning actors and the MCU picks ’em up!

Anyways, let’s review Ant-Man because I’m aiming to get an Endgame review out sometime this week… I know I’m way behind but I have to skip forward to review Endgame because it’s killing me not to write about it right now.

Positives

• I already alluded to it, but this movie is frickin’ hilarious. Paul Rudd is phenomenal as he always is. He’s a hilarious, lovable character that everyone roots for. Plus, you add Luis (Michael Peña), Dave (T.I- they even got T.I. in the movie!), and Kurt (David Dastmalchian) and those four combined are terrific.
  • Probably the funniest scene is when Luis goes on a long-ass rant about how he discovered a job… brilliant.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_PmY8prw7M
• Though the movie is funny (and I think the movie even laughs at itself for being a silly movie about a man shrinking down to ant size), the movie is dramatic enough with a handful of emotional moments that makes it feel like a serious film. It’s not an easy task to make a goofy movie with goofball characters actually have sentimental backgrounds that work. “Perfectly balanced as all things should be.”
• A lot of MCU movies have a redemption theme, but it works the best here. Lang redeeming himself for his previous crimes to do right by his daughter and Hank Pym redeeming himself by finally telling Hope about her mother’s death are both great storytelling pieces and emotional moments revolving around redemption. There’s a beauty in both Ant-Mans having parallel stories with their daughters.
• The action scenes are fun! The final battle between Yellowjacket & Ant-Man on the Thomas The Engine play set is great, but my favorite action scene is Ant-Man battling Falcon at Avengers Compound. Lang doesn’t know how to handle meeting an Avenger and acts like a melvin telling Falcon he’s a big fan of his work and that he’s sorry, etc. Funny and intense!

• Darren Cross/Yellowjacket (played by Corey Stoll) is decent. He’s got a villain-like motive… nothing crazy great about him, but he’s good!
• Lastly, the de-aging CGI of Michael Douglas is really, really good. He looks like Gordon Gekko in the first scene of the movie!

Negatives

• My biggest issue with the film is that when Darren Cross puts the Yellowjacket suit on for the first time, he’s already familiar with it and knows how to work it. That seems unlikely since they just finalized it AND it took Scott Lang an entire montage to learn how to use it! It’s just a nerdy nitpick I have… not a big deal
• Hearing Yellowjacket say “I want your daddy too” towards the end of the movie is… grossly weird. I don’t want my villain saying weird sexual innuendos.

• Come to think of it, Yellowjacket might be the “worst” part of the movie… and I still like him!
• There are maybe a couple duds for jokes… but I can’t think of an example a couple days after watching the movie. Sooo… not too strong of a negative

Overall Grade: B+

Ant-Man is as “solid” as a movie in the MCU can be. Everything is pretty good about, no glaring weaknesses, but it’s also not flashy nor the best movie out there. Ant-Man is like Philip Rivers… it’s really good but overshadowed by other quarterbacks (movies). Plus, Philip Rivers has like a billion kids, and Scott Lang has control of a billion ants, so they’re basically the same person.

MCU Ranking

1. Guardians of the Galaxy
2. The Avengers
3. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
4. Iron Man
5. Captain America: The First Avenger
6. Ant-Man (In the middle of everything!)
7. Avengers: Age of Ultron
8. Thor
9. Iron Man 3
10. Iron Man 2
11. The Incredible Hulk
12. Thor: The Dark World

Next up: AVENGERS ENDGAME… I have to skip forward, guys. I NEED to write Endgame’s review right now… and then I’ll review the others that I skipped.

Before Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Infinity War, & now Endgame, Avengers: Age of Ulton (AOU) was the most pumped I had been for a movie. It was three years since the first Avengers movie came out, so I had some major blue balls. Sure we had some great flicks like Guardians of The Galaxy, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and Tyler Perry’s Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor, but this was THEE Avengers coming together again! This movie actually restarted my love for comic books too, because it was free comic day so they gave out a free New Avengers comic at a theater in Madison, WI I was at. Since then, I’ve been reading & buying comics regularly again!

I left the theater thinking “wow that movie kicked ass,” because I was overstimulated from seeing another Avengers movie. After a couple more viewings I still liked it (and I still like it to this day), but it was similar to Thor: The Dark World because I realized it wasn’t as good as I once thought.

AOU has issues at its core but I’ll always defend it as a good, fun movie.

Anyhow, I’m running out of time before Endgame comes out, so here are my positives and negatives for AOU.

Positives

• Everything about creating Vision is fantastic (minus Thor’s quest to that weird pool). The way he was created between Ultron, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, JARVIS, Helen Cho (and even Thor electrocuting him) was exciting. When Vision is created, he gives me some of my favorite moments in the film like his conversation with Ultron at the end and when he picks up Thor’s hammer. Vision might be the best thing to come out of this film.
• My second favorite scene in the entire film is Vision & Ultron having the conversation at the end of the film. It’s a great symbolization of good and evil and how they’re actually similar but can come to different conclusions. What makes it even better is that director Joss Whedon has said that the good VS evil struggle is one based on his own mind and thoughts. Which I think adds an artistic beauty to it.

• My FAVORITE scene is Hawkeye’s speech to Scarlet Witch during the battle of Sokovia.
  • “The city is flying, we’re fighting an army of robots and I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense… Doesn’t matter what you did, or what you were. If you go out there, you fight, and you fight to kill. Stay in here, you’re good. I’ll send your brother to come find you. But if you step out that door, you are an Avenger.” Funny and inspiring!

• I, unlike a decent portion of people, actually liked Hawkeye’s family reveal. I thought it was a decent twist that added some depth to Hawkeye… it might be lazy depth but it’s depth!
• We get Hulk VS the Hulkbuster (or VERONICA in the movie). Holy shit this scene was a nerd’s dream come to life. They beat the hell out of one another and it’s wonderful. Iron Man destroys a building trying to knock Hulk out and it’s fantastic.

• I’m going to throw Ultron under the positives, because he was good enough as a villain. There were some problems I had with Ultron, (I’ll discuss under the negatives) but overall I liked him enough. Plus his plan to drop a country on Earth is over-the-top but pretty damn cool.
• There wasn’t a lot of great character development in this movie, but one character’s arc I did enjoy was Black Widow. We get a look into her dark, twisted path that made her the deadly assassin she is today. She opens up about being sterilized in the Red Room, and we get to see another layer of Natasha Romanoff that we hadn’t seen before.
• Lastly, the fight on Sokovia is a lot of fun. Plenty of moments from the battle like Thor bashing Cap’s shield through a bunch of Ultron bots, all the Avengers grouping up to defend the thing (Idk what it’s called) in the church and when Thor, Vision & Iron Man lay the beat down on Ultron.

Negatives

• Structurally, the movie is jumbled. The mood is never consistent. The way I describe it is the movie tries to be a serious drama, but they needed filler and more content so they crammed a bunch of forced jokes into the film. There are so many jokes that don’t land and take away meaning from important moments. Don’t get me wrong there are comedic moments where I laughed during the movie, but for every good joke it seems there was a so-so joke.
• The overuse of comedy comes out big time in Ultron. I like Ultron but he has those moments where he acts like an idiot that takes away from his badassery. For instance: “Everyone creates the thing they dread. Men of peace create engines of war. Invaders create Avengers. People create… smaller people? Er… children! I lost the word there.” Ultron says this talking to Scarlet Witch and the quote starts out with a meaningful, intellectual point and it ends with a stupid-ass joke. Why?! It didn’t need to be there!
• When Scarlet Witch manipulates the minds of Thor, Cap & Black Widow… it’s pretty congested. I like Black Widow’s past surfacing, but the movie tried way too hard to incorporate arcs for each character. Thor gets sent to a magical pool to figure out he had vision about the infinity stones (it doesn’t make sense to me) and the movie shows Cap struggling to have a normal life without war… which was already shown in Winter Soldier. We didn’t need to see Thor & Cap’s issues when they have separate movies.
• Black Widow and Bruce Banner’s relationship doesn’t resonate with me. Mostly because I wanted Black Widow & Cap. to hook up after Winter Soldier, so I won’t penalize the AOU too much for it.

Overall Grade: B-

AOU’s grade is going to wedge it between Captain America: TFA & Thor. Objectively, Thor is probably a better film than AOU, but I gave the edge to Ultron because I think it’s got more entertainment value. AOU isn’t structured very well and tries to balance a billion different storylines and doesn’t always land, but the good, for me, outweighs the bad. We get some moments, great action sequences and even in a discombobulated mess, we get some good character moments with Hawkeye, Vision and Black Widow. By far the worst Avengers movie but still a good flick!

MCU Ranking

1. Guardians of the Galaxy
2. The Avengers
3. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
4. Iron Man
5. Captain America: The First Avenger
6. Avengers: Age of Ultron (Perfectly balanced as all things should be…)
7. Thor
8. Iron Man 3
9. Iron Man 2
10. The Incredible Hulk
11. Thor: The Dark World

NEXT UP: Ant-Man

If Game of Thrones is known for one thing it’s murdering your dreams, happiness and a shit load of your favorite characters.

So to celebrate GOT’s 8th and final season coming out tonight, (I still have to pinch myself because WE ACTUALLY MADE IT) I decided to rank the top 10 deaths by the “Holy shit… that just happened?!” scale.

The scale is based on my emotional responses with the deaths. It could be a death that I was utterly depressed by or hysterically thrilled with. Basically, it’s ranked by how much each death rattled me for good or for bad.

Happy Game of Thrones day! Here’s my Top 10 GOT deaths ranked on the “Holy Shit… That Just Happened?!” scale.

10. Viserion (Shot down by the Night King)

Full disclosure: the episode when Viserion dies is the only episode of GOT I watched when I was under the influence. If I was sober it would have been bad but imagine seeing a dragon that you wanted to see take over Westeros get shot out of the sky by the damn Night King when you’re… not sober. It was traumatizing to say the least. OH, and not to mention the Night King brought it back to life… I mean come on!

9. Tommen Baratheon (suicide) & The Tyrells (Wildfire explosion from Cersei)

I didn’t want to lump multiple character deaths into one number, but the entire sequence of the Sept of Baelor exploding was mind-shattering. Cersei’s diabloical plan is what makes these deaths make the list. She orchestrates the Sept of Baelor’s explosion to a T, and it is MENACING (seriously, go watch it right now because the lead up to the KABOOM is amazing.) Plus, Tommen’s suicide by walking out a window is bone-chilling and makes for a great gif.

8. Robb Stark (Stabbed by Roose Bolton)

The Red Wedding was so messed up I had to divide the major deaths into individual rankings. Cat Stark is not on the list because she was the last one to go down and, we already saw the worst of the scene. Robb is only #7 because his death was overshadowed by… well… I’ll get to that in a bit.

7. Shireen Baratheon (Burnt alive on a steak by Melisandre)

This one… is so F’d up. Douche bag Stannis burnt his daughter alive because he thought it was the right move to make him king. The scene is heartbreaking. A little girl is on the steak yelling for her parents to stop. Yeesh. I know #7 seems much too low, but we actually don’t see her burnt alive so I’m dropping it a couple notches… still doesn’t change how F’d up it was.

6. Hodor (Mauled by White Walkers)

HOLD THE DOOR. HOLD THE DOOR. HOL TH DOR. HO TH DOR. HO DOR. HODOR. ‘Nuff said. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

5. Oberyn Martell (Squashed by The Mountain)

Ok, I know this one might seem high if I’m judging the deaths based on emotions, but the brutality of Oberyn’s death was DEVASTATING and here’s why. #1. Oberyn was soooo cocky when he thought he killed the Mountain. He had the battle won… and still lost. #2 He was fighting for Tyrian’s freedom… and he messed up. #3 HIS HEAD EXPLODES FROM THE MOUNTAIN THUMBING HIM IN THE F*****G EYES. #4 Ellaria’s (his wife) reaction is too vivid in my head. The whole scene is frightening.

4. Joffrey Baratheon (Poisoned by Olenna Tyrell)

LETS. GO!!! This douche had it coming and when his face bloated purple… it was PHENOMENAL. *Fun story: I texted my friends minutes before his death saying something along the lines of “this is bullshit! How come the Stark’s wedding has a billion deaths and Joffrey survives his!” Oh the irony. GOT makes you vengeful for blood… and I was happy to see Joffrey die.

3. Ned Stark (Beheaded by Ilyn Payne)

There is nothing like you’re first time. This was the first MAJOR death, and it shook me to my core. Before I started watching the show, I heard GOT killed off characters like they were extras, but I was not ready for THEE MAIN CHARACTER TO DIE 9 EPISODES IN! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!? I kept thinking “ok, how is he going to get out of this mess?” BUT THEY KILLED HIM… in the midst of a mad mob… it was mayhem. It was one of a handful of times when I was left speechless as the credits rolled. RIP you honorable stud.

2. Ramsay Bolton (Eaten by his own dogs)

OHHHH SWEET, SWEET RETRIBUTION. In my favorite episode of the entire series (Battle of the Bastards), we see Ramsay defeated by Jon Snow… but it gets better. Ramsay loses Winterfell… but it gets better. Sansa tells him to suck it (figuratively not literally)… but it gets better. Ramsay is so arrogant that he thinks his dogs won’t kill him… but they kill him! It is satisfaction at its very finest.

1. Talisa Stark (Stabbed by Lothar Frey)

…brutal. Talisa was THEE most wrecked I’ve been. I placed Talisa’s death ahead of Robb because she was the first domino to fall in the Red Wedding, she was pregnant and stabbed in her pregnant f*****g belly, and seeing Robb’s reaction snapped me into a million pieces. AND, like, five minutes prior to her death she tells Robb she wants to name their son Eddard after his dad. The Red Wedding was, for me, the most emotional scene in the entire show and Talisa’s death was the worst at the wedding.

Feel free to let me know your thoughts on how wrong I was in my ranking!

Directed by Joe & Anthony Russo
Release date: April 4, 2014
Starring: Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Samuel L. Jackson, Sebastian Stan, Robert Redford
Box office worldwide: $714,264,267

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (TWS):

Still to this day, TWS is viewed as the best MCU movie to many Marvel droogs. It seems like any Marvel list I read or any fan I talk to has TWS among the top tier of their lists, and it’s 100% justified.

TWS follows the story of El Capitan Americano dealing with life in present day life… and he is pretty damn lost. All the workaholic does is fight bad guys, run, and not go on dates. He feels out of place except when he is beating the shit out of bad guys and it makes for REALLY GOOD STORYTELLING.

Plus, throw in Cap’s old friend who was supposedly dead comes back to be his enemy and IT’S FANTASTIC STORYTELLING.

And then you mix in Hydra taking over SHIELD?! THE STORYTELLING PARALYZES ME WITH JOY.

Side note, when I watched TWS the other day my first thought after the Helicarriers destroyed themselves I thought “wow, that’s gotta be so much taxpayer money going to waste.”

Phhh… look at my… maturity.

Anywhoozle, here’s my positives/negatives on TWS

Positives

• I already alluded to it, but the story & plot are phenomenal. It’s got great emotion with Cap fitting in to present day life, Cap and Bucky’s story and Cap & Black Widow’s heart-to-heart conversations. It’s got a great twist and complexity with Hydra’s infiltration of SHIELD. Within the infiltration, it has a great betrayal with Alexander Pierce stabbing Nick Fury in the back. So many moving parts that blend to perfection!
  • One of the best lines in the entire MCU is when Falcon asks Cap “what makes you happy?” and Cap responds with “I don’t know.” It’s 3 words but so POWERFUL and tells the audience a lot of what Cap is going through.
• Piggybacking off of point #1, it’s a huge film for Cap’s character arc. This is a big stepping stone from being an obedient soldier to the soldier that does what’s right and not what’s told of him. He had flashes of this in the first Cap movie and Avengers, but finding out the team you’ve been serving is actually your sworn enemy is a reallllllll bitch.
• This is the best film for Black Widow. We get some really good content with her showing some of her insecurities and concerns with conversations with Cap. I also think it’s Scarlett Johansson’s best performance. She tight walks the line of being devious AND concerned about doing what’s right. It’s compelling and super entertaining.
• At this point in the MCU, Winter Soldier was the best 2nd best villain behind Loki. The Russo brothers turned him into a badass that posed a serious threat to anyone and anything.

• The fight scenes are incredible. The first scene when Cap, Black Widow & SHIELD’s Strike Team take back the stolen SHIELD vessel is SOOOOO TIGHT! Cap just runs around this ship kicking the shit out of everybody. It’s still some of the hardest, impactful melee we see in the MCU.
• The first Cap VS Bucky fight scene in the streets of D.C. is probably the best one-on-one fights in the MCU. The second Cap VS Bucky fight at the end turns into a real emotional scene when Cap tells Bucky to kill him because “I’m with ya ‘till the end of the line.” Heavy, baby very heavy.

• AND the elevator fight scene is great, too!
• The first scene when Cap & Falcon are running around the reflecting pool is great! The “on your left” bit always cracks me up.

Negatives

• I looked back at this article revised it, because I had Zola’s algorithm that determines who to kill as a negative. I don’t know what I was thinking? That’s actually kind of cool. Very weird and complex, yes, but I dk why I had it as a negative.

Overall Grade: A

• Overall, it is still one of the best MCU movies out there. The story is awesome and the emotions run high with some badass fight scenes. It’s one of my favorites but I do think it’s over hyped. Not because it’s worse than what people think, because it’s fantastic, but there are a handful of MCU movies that I definitely place ahead of it. It may be the best movie OBJECTIVELY, but there are too many bangers for me to put it #1.

MCU Ranking

1. Guardians of the Galaxy
2. The Avengers
3. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (Objectively, it’s probably a better movie than Avengers, but Avengers is such a meaningful movie to me).
4. Iron Man
5. Captain America: The First Avenger
6. Thor
7. Iron Man 3
8. Iron Man 2
9. The Incredible Hulk
10. Thor: The Dark World

NEXT UP: Avengers: Age of Ultron

Ooga-shocka-ooga-ooga-ooga-shocka-ooga-ooga-ooga-shocka

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII’M (BUMP-BUMP) HOOKED ON A FEELING.

I’ve discussed before that Marvel Studios has shown it has balls of steel when it hindered all of its remaining character rights on Iron Man’s success in 2008. Well, Guardians of the Galaxy (GOTG) is another instance when Marvel Studios took a big fat risk and showed those huge cahones off.

GOTG was the first movie that didn’t follow one of the four main Avengers. The Guardians were a ballsy pick because not a lot of people knew who the F these guys were. If you’re a comics fan then you might have known them (I’m a comic fan and I didn’t even know their names). If you weren’t a comic fan then you probably had no idea who the hell the Guardians of the Galaxy were.

The movie turned out to be so popular that the D.C. cinematic universe tried to copy it with Suicide Squad and failed MISERABLY. The movie featured a bunch of goons brought together to fight a bad guy to a soundtrack jam packed with popular songs… sound familiar?

The difference?

Suicide Squad was a heaping pile of garbage that was a complete waste of time.

Guardians was PHENOMENAL. The film was a massive success and is still one of the popular picks for best MCU movie.

Anyhow, here are my positives & negatives on Guardians of the Galaxy

Positives

• The balance between humor, emotion, drama and action is executed to perfection. It’s so tough to balance all those genres into one movie, but James Gunn & his crew balance it so damn well. I don’t think there is one comedic moment that imposes on the emotional story. Even with all the humorous parts, there are those dramatic parts where you hold your breath. It’s a masterpiece!
• Playing off of the first point, the overarching theme of family heartwarming AF. They bring in all these different characters with different backgrounds, but they all have one thing in common: missing family/friends. It makes you root for this crew big time! THEY DESERVE LOVE DAMNIT!

• What makes everything flow so well is every Guardian, and every character for that matter, is so freaking compelling. Star Lord is hilarious and charismatic, Gamora is inspiring and makes the audience sympathetic for her, Rocket is witty and emotional under his ossified exterior, Drax is stupidly funny looking for revenge and Groot is a sweetheart. Somehow all these characters can relate with me. Plus, each character gets screen time to tell their story and have their moment. They all kill it!
  • Ronan & Nebula are good villains, too.

• The soundtrack is perfect. “Come and Get Your Love,” “Hooked on a Feeling,” “Fooled Around and Fell in Love,” “Cherry Bomb,” “Ain’t no Mountain High Enough.” The list goes on and on. I still listen to the soundtrack almost daily!
• I could name off a dozen scenes that makes me giddier than a child. But I’ll list off nine instead.
  • Prison escape scene
  • Star Lord searching for the Orb to the beat of “Come and Get Your Love.”
  • Star Lord’s dance off to save the universe.
  • Rocket’s drunk monologue
  • Star Lord & Gamora’s first romantic tease on Knowhere.
  • The Orb descamating The Collector’s place.
  • “We are Groot.”
  • “Bunch of jackasses standing in a circle.”
  • Rocket kicking grass

• We get our first look (that wasn’t a cameo) at Thanos!
• A great Howard the Duck cameo in the post-credits scene.

Negatives

• It was uber tough to come up with a negative… but I guess I’ll go with some of Nebula’s dialogue. She has a couple of awkward lines that feel robotic, and yes, I know Nebula is half robot at this point but it still feels odd. Here’s an example… I guess:

“The starboard kern has been breached! We have been boarded!” The way she says “we have been boarded,” is just… kinda weird? I don’t know, guys. This is as harsh as I can get.

Overall Grade: A+

Without a doubt GOTG is still one of the best MCU movies made. At the time of its release, it introduced us to unknown, hilarious characters that morphed together to make a phenomenal film about family. It’s an emotional, comedic, dramatic film that will always hold up. I can’t come up with a true negative, so if you have one let me know!

MCU Rankings

1. Guardians of the Galaxy (I’ve always said The Avengers was my favorite movie of all-time (until recently, *hint-hint), but I’m ready to admit GOTG is better than The Avengers now that I’m not claiming it as my all-time favorite).
2. The Avengers
3. Iron Man
4. Captain America: The First Avenger
5. Thor
6. Iron Man 3
7. Iron Man 2
8. The Incredible Hulk
9. Thor: The Dark World

Directed by Alan Taylor
Release Date: November 8th, 2013
Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Christopher Eccleston, Anthony Hopkins
Box Office Worldwide: $644,571,402

Thor: The Dark World (TTDW) picks up after the events of Thor & The Avengers with Thor trying to acquire peace across the 9 Realms. He misses Jane Foster, Loki is in jail and Jane is still lame and does nothing to help the movie.

Ok, now that I got ya up to speed, LET’S GET INTO THE JUICY MATERIAL… here’s my continuation of sexy Chris Hemsworth gifs from my Thor review.

That’s all you need to know about TTDW…

In all seriousness, when I first saw this movie I actually liked it more than the first Thor. It was filled with more Thor-y scenes and Star Wars-like battles which was awesome! But after watching it a 2nd time, my likeness for it decreased… significantly. After a handful of viewings, it was obvious this wasn’t the MCU’s best film, and a lot of people don’t care for it. I won’t go as far to say I don’t like it because I’m a Marvel rube, but I have my issues with it. It’s probably the only review where the negatives outweigh the positives. I don’t hate the movie… I actually like it, but critically… it has it’s issues.

Even with sexy Chris Hemsworth.

Anyways, here are my positives & negatives on Thor: The Dark World

Positives

• Just like the first movie, Loki is my phenomenal and easily my favorite character in the movie. Coming off of the Attack on New York, Loki’s put in prison for his crimes and it’s taken a toll on him even though he tries to cover it up. The turmoil he’s going through is shown brilliantly by Tom Hiddleson. The inner struggle of Loki makes him such a compelling character. Fantastic stuff as always, Mr. Hiddleston.
  • We also get to see Loki cut up some Dark Elves on The Dark World and I am all about it! It’s a personal favorite because we get to see Loki ball out and cut some bitches up and I AM ALLLLLL ABOUT IT!

• Loki & Thor are brilliant together again. This time it’s more of a comedic, back-and-forth snickering, and it’s by far the most entertainment we get in the film.
• The Dark World has one of the more beautiful/sad scenes in the MCU. After Frigga (Thor’s mother) is murdered, the funeral scene is emotional and hits ya right in the gut! Frigga isn’t a “main character”, but her death feels uber sad because of Thor, Odin and Loki’s reactions and the funeral is breathtakingly scenic. It also reminds me of Hoster Tully’s funeral from Game of Thrones funeral which makes it that much better. (If you didn’t get that last reference go watch Game of Thrones NOW).
• The Dark Elves’ attack on Asgard feels like a colonial Star Wars attack and I dig it! I don’t love the elves as villains but their ambush on Asgard is very entertaining.
• Thor’s battle with Malekith is somewhat fun. It’s not a complete positive but it’s a fun battle for the most part… or at least the part where they’re fighting through portals to different planets.

Negatives

• I’m a broken record from the first Thor review, but I. Can’t. Stand. Natalie. Portman. As. Jane. Foster. Her entire time being on-screen is beyond annoying. Here is the cringiest of cringey lines:

Jane Foster: Is that a quantum field generator?

Nurse: It’s a soul forge.

Jane Foster: Well, does a soul forge transfer molecular energy from one object to another.

Nurse: [Surprised] Yes.

Nurse: Yes.

Jane Foster: Hmm. Quantum field generator.

Ace Sauerwein: That’s not funny.

• If you don’t remember that dialogue or the scene it’s from, then that’s good. Nurses on Asgard are looking at Jane because she’s got the Aether in her and she’s asking questions about shit trying to act all cute and smart BUT SHE SUCKS!… ok I’m good now. Speaking of the Aether, it pisses me off that the Aether ended up in lame-ass mortal Jane Foster… she shouldn’t be able to have the Reality Stone in her! It’s BS
• Ok I’m done with Jane Foster… but here’s another lame character: Malekith. The biggest criticism people have of the MCU is villians (I don’t agree with most of them, but that’s besides the point). Malekith is the #1 cause of this criticism. He is hands-down the worst villain out of all the movies. There is no connection with the audience. All the movie tells us about Malekith is that he got screwed over thousands of years ago, he’s back, he wants the red liquid to… turn the world to darkness? And he barely gets any lines… oofda. Very forgettable!

• The other big criticism MCU movies get is that the humor steps over the action and drama and that is definitely an issue in The Dark World. There are many forced jokes like Darcy making out with her intern and Dr. Selvig saying “let me grab my pants,” at what could’ve been a sick moment. It was too much sometimes.
• Overall, the movie never feels like it hits an epic climax… there are decent parts but they never seem to find traction to make a great, complete piece.

Overall Grade: C-

• I won’t ever give a terrible grade to an MCU movie, but this is as low as it gets. I went with a C- because it is definitely the worst movie in the MCU… but I still enjoy it because I’m a rube. It’s got two of my least favorite characters in the MCU, the story is blah and doesn’t pull you in, BUT it still has its moments. There are some great moments between Thor & Loki and some good fight scenes, but the good is taken away at times by awkward “humor” and a jumbled story.

MCU Ranking

1. The Avengers
2. Iron Man
3. Captain America: The First Avenger
4. Thor
5. Iron Man 3
6. Iron Man 2
7. The Incredible Hulk
8. Thor: The Dark World (I’ll tell ya right now, nothing is getting lower than this)

NEXT UP: Guardians of the Galaxy (F*** YES)

Directed by Shane Black
Release Date: May 3rd, 2013
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Guy Pearce, Don Cheadle
Box Office Worldwide: $1,214,811,252

Iron Man 3 (2013): Coming off the monumental, mind-shattering, loin-shaking success of The Avengers, Iron Man 3 follows Tony Stark dealing with the alien attack in New York in a very real way. After going through a wormhole, Stark is rattled to the core and is dealing with anxiety and maybe PTSD.

Though this movie isn’t one of my favorite MCU movies, and definitely not the favorite among general audiences, this movie does a great job to make Stark feel like an actual human being. Someone we can relate with or at least someone to empathize with.

Plus, we get to see, like, 30 Iron Man suits… so sign me the F up.

Anywhoozle, here are my positives/negatives on Iron Man 3

Positives

• I already alluded to it but Stark dealing with PTSD brings another layer to Stark’s character. It feels like we don’t get a lot of superhero movies where we see the hero go through some form of PTSD like a normal human being would do after battling aliens. Iron Man 3 hit a home run with the basis of the story.
  • To go along with the PTSD angle, I love that Stark still screws up even though he is progressing through the movies and becoming a better person. He still has his slip-ups which, again, makes him feel like a real human.
• Kind of piggybacking off of the first point, Stark and Pepper Potts’ relationship feels like a real relationship. It’s far from perfect and has plenty of ups and downs which makes it feel so real and appealing!
  • I’M BIG INTO FICTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS… SUE ME.

• The banter between Stark and Harley (the kid that helps Tony) is wonderful. Both Tony & Harley are lovably snarky and sarcastic with one another and it’s very entertaining.
  • Ty Simpkins, Harley’s actor, is phenomenal, too. I don’t think the kid has been in anything else… but he killed it in Iron Man 3.
• There are a couple of real fun action scenes. Air Force One blowing out of the sky is intense and fun. The helicopter attack on Tony’s house is nuts! And the final battle scene between Extremis and the Iron Legion is solid!
  • IRON LEGION FTW. I do wish, however, there was more of the Iron Legion in the movie, but it was still fun while it lasted.

• Mark 42 is an awesome concept and makes for an awesome suit-up.

Negatives

• Aldirch Killian was put into the lead-villain role because Marvel corporate (not director Shane Black, nor Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige) thought having a female (Maya Hansen) as the lead villain would damage toy sales… what? Killian was an okay villain but if you would had a Maya Hansen, someone who had a closer tie with Tony, as the villain then there’s a more compelling villain.
  • This was when Marvel Studios had to answer to Marvel corporate and thank god Feige and Marvel Studios is separate now… because that one decision to change a movie because they think TOY SALES WOULD TAKE A HIT BECAUSE A WOMAN IS THE LEAD VILLIAN WHAT THE HELL IS THAT GARBAGE CENOAWEIFN;OINDOAE WNOECJH.

• The Mandarin twist was met with major pushback. A lot of true Marvel nerds hated it because they made a mockery of the Mandarin. I actually respect Shane Black for having the balls to pull that twist off, but I didn’t like it. The way they built up The Mandarin before the twist was great. They built him up to be a realistic terrorist and they shot it down once they made him a goofy puppet. I still don’t dislike it as some extreme nerds, but I didn’t love it.
• War Machine/Iron Patriot was kind’ve wasted in this movie. We never see War Machine in action like he is in the comics. It was a disappointment after getting a taste of his destruction in Iron Man 2.

Overall Grade: C+

Iron Man 3 is comparable to Iron Man 2. Both movies have flaws but are also entertaining enough to make it a good watch. IM3 has a couple of big flaws, in my eyes, with the Mandarin switch and Aldrich Killian being picked as the main villain over Maya Hansen. That being said, it had a lot of terrific character development with Tony that it made up for any flaws. AND YES IRON MAN 3 IS A CHRISTMAS MOVIE!

MCU Ranking

1. The Avengers (Hands down #1 at this juncture.)
2. Iron Man
3. Captain America: The First Avenger
4. Thor
5. Iron Man 3 (Just a tiny bit ahead of IM2)
6. Iron Man 2
7. The Incredible Hulk

NEXT UP: Thor: The Dark World… oh boy