If Game of Thrones is known for one thing it’s murdering your dreams, happiness and a shit load of your favorite characters.
So to celebrate GOT’s 8th and final season coming out tonight, (I still have to pinch myself because WE ACTUALLY MADE IT) I decided to rank the top 10 deaths by the “Holy shit… that just happened?!” scale.
The scale is based on my emotional responses with the deaths. It could be a death that I was utterly depressed by or hysterically thrilled with. Basically, it’s ranked by how much each death rattled me for good or for bad.
Happy Game of Thrones day! Here’s my Top 10 GOT deaths ranked on the “Holy Shit… That Just Happened?!” scale.
10. Viserion (Shot down by the Night King)
Full disclosure: the episode when Viserion dies is the only episode of GOT I watched when I was under the influence. If I was sober it would have been bad but imagine seeing a dragon that you wanted to see take over Westeros get shot out of the sky by the damn Night King when you’re… not sober. It was traumatizing to say the least. OH, and not to mention the Night King brought it back to life… I mean come on!
9. Tommen Baratheon (suicide) & The Tyrells (Wildfire explosion from Cersei)
I didn’t want to lump multiple character deaths into one number, but the entire sequence of the Sept of Baelor exploding was mind-shattering. Cersei’s diabloical plan is what makes these deaths make the list. She orchestrates the Sept of Baelor’s explosion to a T, and it is MENACING (seriously, go watch it right now because the lead up to the KABOOM is amazing.) Plus, Tommen’s suicide by walking out a window is bone-chilling and makes for a great gif.
8. Robb Stark (Stabbed by Roose Bolton)
The Red Wedding was so messed up I had to divide the major deaths into individual rankings. Cat Stark is not on the list because she was the last one to go down and, we already saw the worst of the scene. Robb is only #7 because his death was overshadowed by… well… I’ll get to that in a bit.
7. Shireen Baratheon (Burnt alive on a steak by Melisandre)
This one… is so F’d up. Douche bag Stannis burnt his daughter alive because he thought it was the right move to make him king. The scene is heartbreaking. A little girl is on the steak yelling for her parents to stop. Yeesh. I know #7 seems much too low, but we actually don’t see her burnt alive so I’m dropping it a couple notches… still doesn’t change how F’d up it was.
6. Hodor (Mauled by White Walkers)
HOLD THE DOOR. HOLD THE DOOR. HOL TH DOR. HO TH DOR. HO DOR. HODOR. ‘Nuff said. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.
5. Oberyn Martell (Squashed by The Mountain)
Ok, I know this one might seem high if I’m judging the deaths based on emotions, but the brutality of Oberyn’s death was DEVASTATING and here’s why. #1. Oberyn was soooo cocky when he thought he killed the Mountain. He had the battle won… and still lost. #2 He was fighting for Tyrian’s freedom… and he messed up. #3 HIS HEAD EXPLODES FROM THE MOUNTAIN THUMBING HIM IN THE F*****G EYES. #4 Ellaria’s (his wife) reaction is too vivid in my head. The whole scene is frightening.
4. Joffrey Baratheon (Poisoned by Olenna Tyrell)
LETS. GO!!! This douche had it coming and when his face bloated purple… it was PHENOMENAL. *Fun story: I texted my friends minutes before his death saying something along the lines of “this is bullshit! How come the Stark’s wedding has a billion deaths and Joffrey survives his!” Oh the irony. GOT makes you vengeful for blood… and I was happy to see Joffrey die.
3. Ned Stark (Beheaded by Ilyn Payne)
There is nothing like you’re first time. This was the first MAJOR death, and it shook me to my core. Before I started watching the show, I heard GOT killed off characters like they were extras, but I was not ready for THEE MAIN CHARACTER TO DIE 9 EPISODES IN! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!? I kept thinking “ok, how is he going to get out of this mess?” BUT THEY KILLED HIM… in the midst of a mad mob… it was mayhem. It was one of a handful of times when I was left speechless as the credits rolled. RIP you honorable stud.
2. Ramsay Bolton (Eaten by his own dogs)
OHHHH SWEET, SWEET RETRIBUTION. In my favorite episode of the entire series (Battle of the Bastards), we see Ramsay defeated by Jon Snow… but it gets better. Ramsay loses Winterfell… but it gets better. Sansa tells him to suck it (figuratively not literally)… but it gets better. Ramsay is so arrogant that he thinks his dogs won’t kill him… but they kill him! It is satisfaction at its very finest.
1. Talisa Stark (Stabbed by Lothar Frey)
…brutal. Talisa was THEE most wrecked I’ve been. I placed Talisa’s death ahead of Robb because she was the first domino to fall in the Red Wedding, she was pregnant and stabbed in her pregnant f*****g belly, and seeing Robb’s reaction snapped me into a million pieces. AND, like, five minutes prior to her death she tells Robb she wants to name their son Eddard after his dad. The Red Wedding was, for me, the most emotional scene in the entire show and Talisa’s death was the worst at the wedding.
Feel free to let me know your thoughts on how wrong I was in my ranking!
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